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Opportunity Knocks By Jean Hayward Written February 17, 2008 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at
peace with everyone. Romans 12:18 [NIV]
Conflict came quickly to me several years ago as an elder
in the church I attend. At the
beginning of a 3 year term I was assigned to oversee two ministries. They
were experiencing serious conflict. Working with the leadership of the
church, all parties made every attempt to help resolve the issues in both
ministries. Unfortunately reconciliation didn't happen and
A sense of conviction came over me that this type of
conflict between fellow Christians must grieve our Lord. I would recall
during this period that Jesus calls us to be salt and light to a broken and
hurting world. I heard that Ken Sande,
author of the book titled “The
Peacemaker-A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict”, was speaking
in Mountain View, California. I went to hear him, knowing I was ill equipped
to assist others, based on my recent experience. What I heard that day spoke loudly. I wasn't hearing
anything new as a Christian. I was hearing the Gospel. The very path that
reconciles us back to God, repentance, confession, and forgiveness are the
components of reconciling with each other. What I heard was an explanation of a systematic approach
on how to apply biblical principles to broken relationships to bring glory to
God. I approached the leadership of the church with the
material. It was decided to offer a class teaching the principles to see if
we could generate interest and support to bring the ministry to the church. The class was scheduled to be held in three months and I
began to prepare immediately. I am not a trained teacher but I wasn't going
to let this opportunity pass.
Two weeks before the class, I had a major argument with my
husband. The kind where you can barely speak civilly to each other much less
be in the same room together. When I went to bed that night I could not sleep
as I was rehearsing the argument, listing all my justifications for being
angry and the wound was festering. I finally got out of bed and went into the den. I realized
I was in no position to be teaching this class if this remained my response
and state of heart. My thoughts were, "I can't teach this class. I
CAN"T teach this class." I made the decision to call the pastor
over adult equipping the next morning and tell him we would have to cancel
the class.
And then God began to speak to me. He brought to mind all
the things I had been learning.
First, my life as a follower of Jesus Christ is to glorify
God. I am to ask the question. "How can I please and honor God in this
situation?" My heart attitude, my angry words were doing just the
opposite.
Second I am to ask myself, "How have I contributed to
the conflict?" I surely wasn't making any attempt to resolve the
conflict. I wanted to go before a "court" and plead my case so my
husband would be pronounced guilty. There are many more steps to the process but these two
questions brought me to a place where I could look at my part and begin to
seek reconciliation.
As I processed all that I had been learning, I felt the
anger subside, a new openness to gain a better understanding of what
happened. I went to bed and slept well the remainder of the night.
When I woke in the morning I realized God had given me a
gift; a new heart. I could teach this class. I COULD teach this class. My husband and I did work through the conflict and I need
to confess that there was misunderstanding on my part. I was all too ready to
bring judgment and speak hurtful unkind words. My response to his action only
exacerbated the situation.
"We demolish arguments and every pretension
that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every
thought to make it obedient to Christ." [2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV] If I had retained those bad thoughts and desires for being
right in my heart they would inevitably leak out in my tone of voice, my body
language, and gestures, skeptical comments etc. Instead, there was healing. Our
relationship became healthier. I have come to understand that conflict
provides opportunities. Opportunity to glorify God, serve others and grow to
be like Christ. I truly believe that what comes into my life is an assignment
by God as He wants to bring about something good from the conflict we
experience. After Thought: Proverbs 15 (The Message) God Doesn't Miss a Thing 1 A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue
kindles a temper-fire. 2 Knowledge flows like spring water from the wise; fools are leaky
faucets, dripping nonsense. 3 God doesn't miss a thing— he's alert to
good and evil alike. 4 Kind words heal and help; cutting words wound
and maim. Peacemaker's Pledge As people reconciled to God by the death and resurrection
of Jesus Christ, we believe that we are called to respond to conflict in a
way that is remarkably different from the way the world deals with conflict.
(Matt. 5:9; Luke 6:27-36; Gal. 5:19-26 - full text below).We also believe
that conflict provides opportunities to glorify God, serve other people, and
grow to be like Christ. (Rom. 8:28-29; 1 Cor. 10:31-11:1; James 1:2-4) Contact Information Jean Hayward: jeanhayward@sbcglobal.net Peacemaker Ministries:
www.peacemaker.net YOUR BROTHER HAS SOMETHING AGAINST YOU This is how I want you to conduct yourself in
these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an
offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon
your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right.
Then and only then, come back and work things out with God. Or say you're out on the street and an old enemy
accosts you. Don't lose a minute. Make the first move; make things right with
him. After all, if you leave the first move to him, knowing his track record,
you're likely to end up in court, maybe even jail. Matthew 5:23-25 [The Message] YOU HAVE SOMETHING AGAINST YOUR BROTHER If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell
him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you've made a friend.
If he won't listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of
witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won't listen,
tell the church. If he won't listen to the church, you'll have to start over
from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again
God's forgiving love.
Matthew 18:15-17 [The Message] |
![Text Box: If you had responded to my rebuke, I would have poured out my heart to you and made my thoughts known to you. [Proverbs 1:23 NIV]](Opportunity_Knocks_HTM_files/image001.gif)
![Text Box: Thus says the LORD, the Holy One of Israel, and his Maker:
o Ask Me about the things to come concerning My sons,
o And you shall commit to Me the work of My hands.
[Isaiah 45:11 New American Standard Bible – emphasis added]](Opportunity_Knocks_HTM_files/image002.gif)
![Text Box: [ Salt and Light ] "You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. [Matthew 5:13 NIV]](Opportunity_Knocks_HTM_files/image003.gif)
![Text Box: [Not in your own strength] for it is God Who is all the while [a]effectually at work in you [energizing and creating in you the power and desire], both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and delight. [Philippians 2:13 Amplified]](Opportunity_Knocks_HTM_files/image004.gif)
![Text Box: … The Lord opened her heart to respond to Paul's message. [Acts 16:14 NIV]](Opportunity_Knocks_HTM_files/image005.gif)
![Text Box: Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us. [1 Peter 2:12 NIV]](Opportunity_Knocks_HTM_files/image006.gif)
![Text Box: Let angry people endure the backlash of their own anger; if you try to make it better, you'll only make it worse. [Proverbs 19:19 Message]](Opportunity_Knocks_HTM_files/image007.gif)
![Text Box: My thoughts could probably have been summarized by what Ezekiel says in 33:12-13 [The Message]
There's more, son of man. Tell your people, 'A good person's good life won't save him when he decides to rebel, and a bad person's bad life won't prevent him from repenting of his rebellion. A good person who sins can't expect to live when he chooses to sin. It's true that I tell good people, "Live! Be alive!" But if they trust in their good deeds and turn to evil, that good life won't amount to a hill of beans. They'll die for their evil life.
But we know in Christ all are forgiven. We just need to accept that forgiveness.](Opportunity_Knocks_HTM_files/image008.gif)
![Text Box: I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. [Ezekiel 11:19 NIV]](Opportunity_Knocks_HTM_files/image009.gif)
![Text Box: Fools have short fuses and explode all too quickly; the prudent quietly shrug off insults. [Proverbs 12:16 Message]](Opportunity_Knocks_HTM_files/image010.gif)